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~You might have been an AF helicopter Crew Chief if.....~

You've ever said, "Oh yes sir, it's supposed to look like that."

You've ever sucked LOX to cure a hangover.

You know what JP4/JP5 tastes like.

You've ever used a piece of safety wire as a toothpick.

You've ever had to say, "My boots are still black!" (or ever spray-painted them black)

You have ever used soot from the tailpipe to blacken your boots.

You believe the helicopter has a soul.

You talk to the helicopter.

The only thing you know about any city is where the good bars are.

You know more about your co-workers than you do about your own family.

You can't figure out why maintenance officers exist.

You ever wished the pilot would just say, "Great aircraft!"

You think everyone who isn't a Crew Chief is a wimp.

You wondered where they keep finding the idiots that keep making up stupid rules.

You consider 'Moly-B' fingerprints on food an 'acquired taste'.

You've ever been told to "go get us some prop wash, a yard of flight line or the keys to the helicopter.

You have ever jumped inside upper cowling to get out of the rain.

Little yellow ear plugs are all over your house.

You have ever preflighted in really bad weather only to learn that the flight was canceled hours ago.

Your spouse refuses to watch any aviation shows or attend air shows with you.

You have ever looked for pictures of "your" helicopter in aviation books and magazines.

You can't figure out why two weeks of advance per-diem is gone after three days.

You can sleep anywhere, anytime. But as soon as the engines shut down you are wide awake.

You have ever used, wheel chock, or tow bar for a pillow.

You have ever stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry.

You have ever used a pair of Dykes to trim a fingernail.

You have ever pulled the gun switch while riding brakes.

You have ever started an APP inside the hanger!

You have ever wiped leaks right before a crew show.

All you care about is the flying schedule and your days off.

You have ever had to defuel your jet an hour after fueling it.

Everyone you know has some kind of nickname.

You have used the "Pull Chocks" or "Droops In" hand signal to tell your buddies it is time to leave..

You have ever bled hydraulic fluid into a Gatorade bottle or soda can because you are too lazy to go get a hydraulic bucket and the Hazmat keys.

If have you ever been tackled, duct taped to a tow bar, covered in PET and sand, egged, sourmilked, peanut buttered and jellied, and slapped under the emergency wash station in 30 deg weather?

You know in your heart that your jet is female.

You refer to ANY machine as "she."

You refer to QA as "the enemy."

You hate Ops, Maintenance Control, QA, and cops.

You know the international marshalling sign for "pull your head out."

You've ever worked weekend duty on a helicopter that isn't flying on Monday.

You've wanted the engines to start just so you can warm up.

You can't remember half of your co-workers real names... only their nicknames.

You fix 30 million dollar helicopters, but can't figure out what's wrong with your $150 lawnmower.

Your toolbox at home has wheels and foam cutouts, just like the ones at work.

Some of the tools in your toolbox at home are etched.

If the way you measure the cost of living in other countries is by the price of a beer at a bar.

And best of all, you know everybody you send this to will understand because they were all crew chiefs!

To which I say, "And your point is...?"

~Courtesy of Tom Green~