These times, we must all stand together. A secret society, little known by most, has decided to allow inclusion of all those that would abide by the values that we cherish. Below is a short history of this organization. For those who accuse us of spreading barbaric concepts to the masses, we will revert to an age-old tactic that has served us well: Deny, Deny, Deny, and make counter accusations.
PHU KHEN AVIATOR
Brothers of Infamous Glory, Klan Of Khen
Phuh Khen (pronounced Foo Ken) 1169-???? is considered by some to be the most under recognized military officer in history. Many have never heard of his contributions to modern military warfare. The mission of the this secret society is to bring honor to the name of Phuh Khen.
A 'Khen' was a subordinate to a 'Khan' (pronounced Konn) in the military structure of the Mongol Hoards. Khan is Turkish for Leader. Most know of the great Genghis Khan, but little has been written of his chain of command. Khen is also of Turkish origin. Although there is not a word in English that adequately conveys the meaning. Roughly translated, it means, 'One who will do the impossible, while appearing unprepared, and complaining constantly.'
Phuh Khen was one of ten Khens that headed the divisions, or group of Hoards, as they were known, of the Mongol Army serving under Genghis Khan. His abilities came to light during the Mongol's raids on the Turkestan city of Turkestanis. Bohicans were fierce warriors and the city was well fortified. The entire city was protected by huge walls and the hoards were at a standoff with the Bohicans. Bohicaroo was well stocked and it would be difficult to wait them out. Genghis Khan assembled his Khens and ordered each of them to develop a plan for penetrating the defenses of Bohicaroo. Operation Achieve Victory (AV) was born. All 10 divisions of Khens submitted their plan.
After reviewing AV plans 1 thru 7 and finding them all unworkable or ridiculous, Genghis Khan was understandably upset. It was with much perspiration that Phuh Khen submitted his idea, which came to be known as AV 8. Upon seeing AV 8, Genghis was conviced this was the perfect plan and gave his immediate approval. The plan was beautifully simple. Phuh Khen would arm his Hoards to the teeth, load them into catapults, and hurl them over the wall. The losses were expected to be high, but hey, Hoards were cheap. Those that survived the flight would engage the enemy in combat. Those that did not? Well, surely their flailing bodies would cause some damage. The plan worked and the Bohicans were defeated. From that day on, whenever the Mongol Army encountered an insurmountable enemy, Genghis Khan would give the order, "Send some of Phuh Khen's AV 8ers". This is believed, though not by anyone outside our secret society, to be the true origin of the term Aviator (AV 8er). Phu Khen's AV 8ers were understandably an unruly mob, not likely to be socially acceptable. Many were heavy drinkers and insomniacs. But when nothing else would do, you could always count on an AV 8er. A Phu Khen, aviator, denied, perhaps rightfully so, his place in history, Phu Khen has been, none the less, immortalized in prose. As the great poet Norman Lear never once said:
"There once was a man named Phuh Khen
Whose breakfast was whiskey and gin
When e'er he'd fly
He'd give a mighty war cry
Bend over, here it comes again."
Consider it an honor to be a Phu Khen Aviator. Wear the mantle proudly, but speak of it cautiously. It is not always popular to be one of us. You hear mystical references, often hushed whispers, to 'those Phuh Khen Aviators'. Do not let these things bother you. As with any secret society, we go largely misunderstood, prohibited by our apathy, from explaining ourselves.
You are expected to always live down to the reputation of the Phuh Khen Aviator. A reputation cultivated for centuries, undaunted by scorn or ridicule, unhindered by progress. So drink up, be crude, sleep late, urinate in public, and get the job done. When others are offended, you can revel in the knowledge that you are a:
PHUH KHEN AVIATOR
Warren D. "Dan" Kalas, Colonel, USMC (Ret)