The Rules of Copter Piloting

by Dave Barry

RULE ONE OF HELICOPTER PILOTING:

Always have somebody sitting right next to you who actually knows how to fly the helicopter and can snatch the controls away from you.

RULE TWO OF HELICOPTER PILOTING:

Maybe you should forget the entire thing.

RULE THREE OF HELICOPTER PILOTING:

If anybody tries to give you the main control thing, refuse to take it.

RULE FOUR OF HELICOPTER PILOTING: "Auto-rotation" means "coming down out of the sky at about the same speed and aerodynamic stability as that of a forklift dropped from a bomber.

RULE FIVE OF HELICOPTER PILOTING:

You can't hover the helicopter.

RULE SIX OF HELICOPTER PILOTING: Sometimes you have to lie.

The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years"

"FREEDOM ISN'T FREE"

~SOMEONE PAYS FOR YOU AND ME~

"HELICOPTERS" - THE ONLY WAY TO FLY

~NEVER FORGOTTEN~